Jarhead

Funny

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:40:23 -0500

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping. He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, “It looks like you’ve blown a seal.” The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, “No, I’ve just eaten some ice-cream.”

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where..."

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:11:43 -0500

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

"Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned..."

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:06:40 -0500

“Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.”

- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will..."

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:03:35 -0500

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

- Lance Armstrong

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest..."

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:01:13 -0500

“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Oldie but a goodie

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 15:57:19 -0500

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes, caffeine.”

“Have you ever served in the military?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for two years.”

The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.”

Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles…

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 – and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day.”

The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don’t you want me here until 10:00 A.M.?”

“This is a government job,” the interviewer says, “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.”

Thinking about changing his name to Sonic…

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:10:06 -0500

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Thinking about changing his name to Sonic…

Texts from my 8 year old...

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:42:47 -0500

Not 30 seconds after leaving the house to head to my daughter’s open house at school (approximately 5 miles down the street), the texting begins. When I got home, he sent me a text from downstairs asking me for ice cream. What have I done?

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"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by..."

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:51:00 -0600

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”

- Thomas Paine

"Champions aren´t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a..."

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 10:28:00 -0600

“Champions aren´t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision.”

- Muhammad Ali

"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 10:27:00 -0600

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”

- Vince Lombardi

"Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way..."

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 10:26:00 -0600

“Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way to fail.”

- Marva Collins